DENE WAALE NE UNKO SAB KUCH DIYA, LEKIN MAA BANNE KA SUKH NAHI -By Ali Peter John

A man can become superman. A man can become king, an emperor, a general and even a benevolent dictator, but he can never find the kind of pleasure, a mother finds when she gives birth to a child - Ali Peter John

I have had the unique opportunity of seeing mothers of all classes and kinds and I have seen the glowing looks and smiles on their faces when they have just given birth to a child.

I have seen a mother in a slum, in a municipal maternity home and even in the posh seven star maternity homes and I find it very difficult to find any difference between the joy of a mother in the slum and in the most sophisticated hospitals and home.

I have now come to the conclusion that motherhood is a blessing and not just another happening in life.

And it is this observation of mother and motherhood that makes me believe that those women who don’t find the opportunity to be mothers for those who opt out of being mothers are not very happy human beings and there is a certain strong sadness about their lives.

Let me take a look at some of the actresses of Bollywood who for some reason or the other self-made or otherwise has not been able to have children of their own.

The first woman who comes to my mind is the Venus of Indian cinema Madhubala. She was the most beautiful woman to come to Hindi films.

She had torrid affairs and she even married Kishore Kumar, but she couldn’t be a mother. It was her bigger dream than her dreams to become the number one actress. Her heart ailment could have been the reason and she died without having a child.

Meena Kumari had everything that success could offer and she even married her dream man Kamaal Amrohi but there is every reason to believe that she had a sad story who tried to drown her sadness in the bottle and ultimately died because of it at the young age of 45.

Saira Banu could have asked for the moon and got it, but an ailment came in her way and all the prayers and ‘duvaahas’ and ‘mannat’ couldn’t give her the child she so desperately wanted. And now after 60-years of marriage and after the death of her ‘sahab’ she is living a lonely life in the queen of the suburbs, Bandra.

Sadhana was a craze of her time and there were men who could write off anything for her, but she preferred to marry her first director R.K. Nayyar and they lived a happy life, but they were not blessed with the gift of a child.

Nanda could have married billionaires, generals and powerful politicians but she ultimately fell for the maverick filmmaker Manmohan Desai who she even got engaged to but who died under mysterious circumstances after a fall from the balcony of his office and Nanda remained a spinster in the service of God. Her close friend Asha Parekh and Helen have also lived all their lives as spinsters because they couldn’t get married to the men who came into their lives.

And the most famous case of a wonder woman, who could have won the world and even had one marriage but is still living a lonely life. This wonder woman, Rekha now lives alone in a mysterious bungalow close to the sea in Bandra.

Among the women who died single due to accidents and addictions were Parveen Babi, Nimmi and Divya Bharati.

Of the other women who come to mind because of not being blessed with motherhood for reasons that are difficult to know are Rehana Sultan, the National Award winning actress, who was married to the rebel film maker B.R. Ishara and her FTII colleague Asha Sachdev too.

If one takes a very close look at women in Bollywood who have had everything in life but has been denied the privilege of being mothers, there may be many more.

And as I write this piece sitting in a café, I see many numbers of young women who are aspiring to be starlets and actress blowing up their young lives in billows of smoke coming through their noses.

Little do these young women realize if there is one true enemy of being a mother, it is cigarette and a killer smoke which looks very rosy, but kills all that is bright and beautiful within the bodies and souls of these women… BUT WHO WILL TELL THEM THE TRUTH?

And as I finish writing this piece I have counted the number of cigarettes the girl from the table in front of me has smoked.