NAAM GULZAR RAKHNE SE KOI GULZAR THODI BAN JATA HAI...Ali Peter John

I still don't know how to describe my admiration, respect and almost bordering on love for Gulzar which lasted for more than 35 years. Sometimes I wonder if the love I had given to him if I had given to any of the many girls I loved, they would have become Gods and Goddesses.

But for me, It was Gulzar himself who destroyed my love for him by proving that he was not only like any other ordinary man, but that he was also a very cruel, criminal and ruthless mind in a deceiving body. It was the truth about him i discovered as I went along my way with him.

I was an absolutely idealistic youth from a village who took people, faces and what they wrote or created or painted as the absolute truth about life and that is what I firmly believe about Sampooran anad Singh kalra's case.

I first saw a photograph of his in a white trouser and a white shirt with short sleeves and a permanent stubble on his cheeks and I tried my best to imitate him, but my poverty failed me and I had to wear more of black than of white and I could have a shave only when i had the money to pay Iqbal Singh, my barber at the Taj haircutting saloon.

Those were days when i couldn't even imagine me seeing Gulzar, forget meeting him but circumstances and that power called destiny worked in my favour and I landed in the office of Gulzar at Cozy Home on Pali hill where he also had his office and his study where he wrote for 8 hours without taking a break and with a painting of Meena Kumari done by the art director of Raj Kapoor, M R achrekar behind him. I love this atmosphere so much that I kept visiting it and the man behind it every Tuesday as if it was a place of pilgrimage for me.

Gulzar made a lot of money and shifted to a bunglow with he named "Boskyaana" after his daughter Bosky whose official name was Meghna.

My crush on Gulzar grew stronger with every poem and every script he wrote and at one stage when he brought out a collection of his Nazms titled " Kuch aur Nazme" I even wrote a one line note to him saying, "If i was rakhee, I would come running back into your arms" but that wish of mine however dried when i read some other poems of Gulzar which were in contrast to the Nazms he had written.

Our association however kept growing stronger and fonder. And I remember how when he had turned 60, he didn't want to have any party, but Bosky had told me that if I asked him to have a celebration he would have it, and he did have it and it was the only party celebrated at Boskyaana.

I had a strong feeling that no power could break our friendship, bond or association, but I was proved wrong in the most disgusting manner soon. I had just retired from Screen and was to release my book "Alive only for you" and he instantly said, "Ali ke liye nahi karenge to kiske liye kare" and I was satisfied with his assurance.

The evening of the book release had approached and my confidence in Gulzaar made me book the best hall and invite some of my best friends and well wishers to the function which was to start at 5 Pm.

Gulzaar was my friend, but my anxiety made me stand at the entrance to receive him but that great opportunity was not destined to come because of the cruel behaviour of the soft hearted poet.

His secretary called me 15 minutes before the function could start and said, "Maine apko kitne baar bola wo bahut kamena admi, lekin aap maante hi nahi the. Abhi dekho wo andar room mein baithkar green tea ki chuskiyan le rha hai, aur mujhe kehta hai Ali ko bolo ki mein uske function mein nahi aa sakti kyuki mere sath Pakistan ke mashoor shayar log baithe hai, jabki uske paas uske kutte ke siva koi nahi baitha hai" I could see my heart sinking in my empty pocket and I went to the lock room and cried my heart out.

The man I considered my best friend had cruelly betrayed me. But I also couldn't give up because there were guests waiting. I wiped my tears and called out to my other friend Subhash Ghai and told him about my problem.

He just asked me, "Kitne time dega mujhe? I said, 20 minute" and he came driving all the way from film City to the hall and there were still two minutes to go to keep up the time he had given me.

That evening one friend had destroyed the meaning of friendship and another friend had kept the meaning of friendship alive. I don't know if what I did after that evening was right or wrong, but i have not willingy seen the face of Gulzaar again and i even feel guilty about calling everything he writes in the name of poetry an excercise in fake writing which can only fool some weak hearted people for some time, but certainly not for all time.

He is 86 now and he still writes and I hope he realises that what he has been doing for most of his life is just like so much of dust that will one day, some day end up in some old books in some foggy libraries where books are arranged neatly only to rot.

Mind you, i am not writing all this in anger because anger I know only leads to more anger, so let's leave my story about Gulzaar alone and talk about a few other Gulzaarish stories in brief....

Amrik gill was an associate writer and director of Gulzar during the making of "Machish". He had a literary bent of mind and so did his wife. He had full faith in Gulzaar's friendship and asked his wife to translate Gulzaar's collection of short stories, "Raavi par aur dusri kahaniyan" into punjabi.

The book was to be released in the campus of Punjab University. Gill had taken his friendship for Gulzar for granted and had publicised all over punjab and had bought a first class ticket for Gulzaar and an associate from Bombay to Chandigarh and back.

Gill went to Gulzaar with the tickets and Gulzaar looked at him seriously and asked him who had paid for the tickets and Gill told him that since it was a function associated with his wife, he had paid for the tickets.

That was the end of their long friendship (?). Gulzaar told gill that he was not going for the function if he (Gill) had paid for the tickets. And that was the end of Gill's dream and he turned an alcoholic and has not been heard of ever since.

There was this very famous Punjabi writer and play write called Sagar Saradi who had written some of the best plays, was a founder member of the IPTA and the writer of films like Bazaar, Kabhi-Kabhi, Kaho na pyar hai and several plays.

Gulzar and Sagar used to share a room in Charbunglow near versova, but whenever I just mentioned the name of Gulzaar, he got drunk and abused Gulzaar in the most volatile Punjabi language and said that he had stolen the poetry of Meena Kumari.

Sagar died in sheer penury last year, but Gulzaar is happy and all is well with his world in white. Where is that hand of destiny? Where is that God who decides or is Said to decide the desitinies of poor who form the majority of this world?

And before I close, I must tell you the bold and brazen story of Gulzaar and his association with the Hridayesh Awards instituted by Lata Mangeshkars only brother pandit Hridaynath Mangeshkar.

This award had the history of being awarded to dowens like Lata ji herself, Asha Bhosle, AR Rehman, Pandit Jasraj and Amitabh Bachchan.

During one year, the committee had recommended the name of Gulzaar for the award and there was a regular communication between the jury and Gulzaar and he was in no mood to take a decision on whether he would accept the award or not.

And just three days before the awards function, his secretary sent a note of regret to pandit Hridaynath Mangeshkar saying that he was not keeping good health, that would not be able to attend the function.

And the otherwise very mild Hridaynath lost his cool and said that the Mangeshkars would not have anything to do with Gulzaar, and it was decided to give the award to the music director Khaiyyam. Incidentally Lata Mangeshkar had produced "Lekin" which had music by Pandit Hridaynath Mangeshkar.

And now ever since Lata ji has left for God knows which world if there is one song that is being played atleast a hundred times in a day, it is "Naam gum jayega, chehra ye badal jayega, meri awaaz hi pehchaan hai" which is written and composed by the honorable Sampoorn Singh kalra also known as Gulzaar.

And if there is one i will remember all my life, it will be the line he spoke to me just one day after i retired from Screen and visited Boskyaana to have some green tea with him and he had for the first time in our long friendship said, "Ali mere baag par jara samhalkar chalna nhi to tumhare chappal mere baagh ko kuchal denge". How I wish he had the same kind of soft and delicate feelings towards human beings.