There was a lot of celebration of Janmashtami on the streets of Mumbai, a string was tied from one building to another, between the third and fourth floor and a beautiful, ornate earthen pot was swinging on it, which was decorated with notes, flower garlands and fruits. ‘Mach gayi shor saari nagari mein, aaya biraj ka banka, sambhal teri gagri re’ was playing in the background and spontaneously the mischievous acts of Amitabh Bachchan and Parveen Babi started emerging in my mind on this song and then that Parveen Babi came to my mind. A sadness settled in that I had last seen it around 2001 or maybe 2002. Don’t remember the year exactly.

This was not the same Parveen Babi who had captured the hearts of millions of people in the seventies and eighties with her mesmerizing western-style beauty and acting.

In the glitzy sphere of Bollywood, where stars rise and fall like meteors, Parveen Babi was a dazzling comet who left an indelible mark on the silver screen. The mysterious Parveen Babi was one of those Bollywood stars who were cheated by fate. It remained a story of separation. His journey through the volatile tides of fame is a poignant reminder of the ephemeral nature of stardom.

I remember when I was a Greenhorn reporter (New Reporter) at Mayapuri Patrika, I first met this mysterious Parveen Babi, who was once a great personality of Hindi cinema. In those days, she was away from the limelight, but Parveen Babi’s good acquaintance with a senior journalist of Mayapuri and my guru Shri Pannalal Vyas ji gave me the privilege of seeing a rare interview. While she was talking about her cinematic achievements, I kept looking at her silently in awe, mesmerized by her beauty, slim body and beautiful silky long hair. Almost a decade later, fate made me meet him again.

I had come to check my post box at the bustling post office near Andheri West station. I was surprised to see Parveen Babi there. She had a thick file in her hands and along with it were several brown closed long envelopes. She had probably come to buy stamps and post those envelopes.

Time had brought profound changes in her. She was no longer the slim, silky, long-haired, statuesque, tall Parveen Babi, she had turned into a shadow of her former self. This Parveen Babi looked shapeless, heavy and perhaps of short height due to obesity. Her once magnificent-looking long, velvety, silky hair was now cut short. Her face was marked with tiredness, and a clear sense of defeat from life which cast a shadow of cloud in her eyes.

She was standing in the queue to buy stamps to send a bundle of letters. As soon as I came closer to her, she turned her eyes away, perhaps she was seeking anonymity. Without any hesitation, I said hello to her and introduced myself to her in hopes of reliving the memories of our initial meeting. Sadly, she did not remember our last meeting. Still she smiled and shook my hand and asked me what kind of articles I write. I told her everything and also I offered her to stand aside instead of standing in the queue to buy stamps etc. and told her that I could stand in her place and buy stamps etc for her, to which Babi politely but firmly declined.

As soon as she finished her stamp purchase, I requested a few minutes of conversation, feeling an urgency to connect with this transformed actress. Amidst the public crowd, a strange silence fell on Parveen Babi, which went unnoticed by the oblivious around us. The amazing thing was that no one recognized her or paid any attention to her. We both went to a secluded corner next to a closed counter of the post office and there we started a conversation.

Her reactions were elusive, like fragments of a broken mirror reflecting the complexities of a life steeped in stardom and solitude. Parveen Babi talked about the changing scenario of Bollywood and lamented how it has become a field of intolerance and madness, hence she has turned her back on the industry which had once given her the thumbs up and is now she is in isolation.
In her voice, I heard echoes of the vivacious star of yesteryear who, with the ever-passing hours of time, felt the fear of grappling with the fading image of fame and the loneliness that often comes with success.

However, it soon became clear that her heart and mind were in a constant state of flux, as she struggled to maintain coherence in her thoughts and speech.
They seemed to be a mix of joy and sorrow, filled with emotions of sudden immense joy and sudden fearful despair, seemingly as unstable as the Peepal leaves, trembling. During our conversation, she shared bits and pieces of her story, often jumping from one incident to another and I was unable to make any coherent sense of them. Parveen would have tears in her eyes, reflecting the emotional upheaval she experienced, and sometimes she would laugh.

It seemed that an illusion had taken over Parveen Babi’s every action. To lighten the mood, I asked her why she had cut her silky tresses, to which she revealed that she had cut her beautiful hair out of fear that someone might plant a tracking chip behind her ears. She said with full confidence that something like this had happened to her once and the scars of it were still behind her ears. Her vigilance was a desperate and weak attempt to protect herself from her perceived or perhaps imaginary enemies. She was even horrified at the idea of me asking her to have a cup of tea at a popular restaurant like Moti Mahal near Andheri station, fearing that the waiters might add harmful substances to her food. It seemed that delusion had taken over Parveen Babi’s every action.

There has been much speculation about Parveen Babi’s battle with mental health issues, and our meeting gave further fuel to these claims. Her erratic behavior and unfounded fears were clear indications of her fragile mental state. It was heartbreaking to see such turmoil and decline in the emotions of the once vibrant and talented actress.

Barely twenty minutes into the standing conversation, as soon as I offered to drop Parveen Babi in an auto rickshaw to wherever she wanted to go, her hallucinations resurfaced, and she thought the auto driver may potentially harm her. She also advised me to be careful, and also said that her car was parked across the road. While leaving, she said that she never talks to strangers but she recognized the magazine named Mayapuri, so she talked to me.

I said goodbye to Parveen Babi and headed towards the back door of the post office as I had to go to Andheri East but a certain curiosity overcame me. I couldn’t resist the urge to get a glimpse of her car which she told me was parked across the road. I quickly turned and followed her , keeping a distance.

I was surprised to see that Parveen came on the road and stopped an auto rickshaw and sat in it. It was an unexpected turn of events that surprised me. As soon as she sat in the auto, our eyes met for a while and I couldn’t stop myself from waving at her but she turned her face away, as if she did not recognize me or did not accept our just meeting or as if we had never met.
I remained standing there with a mixture of confusion and curiosity, swirling within me, as Parveen Babi’s auto-rickshaw disappeared on the busy streets of Mumbai.

This encounter, full of contradictions and unanswered questions, deepened my understanding of the complexities that defined Parveen Babi’s existence. It serves as a lesson that her life, like her on-screen performances, was a canvas of mysterious emotions and untold stories.

It was a poignant moment, emphasizing the unpredictable and mysterious nature of Parveen Babi’s life.

Reflecting on this unexpected turn, I couldn’t help but wonder about the complexities running through Parveen’s mind. Her expressions and reactions were contradictory. Perhaps it is a reminder of the challenges she faced throughout her life and the delicate balance she tried to maintain amid her struggles with mental health.

The sudden meeting with Parveen Babi offered a glimpse into the world of fame, tragedy and mental health struggles. Her wandering thoughts, changing moods and possibly unfounded fears shed light on the suffering she endured. Parveen Babi’s life

e is a reminder of the importance of understanding and support for people facing mental health challenges, especially within the glitz and glamor of the entertainment industry.

I couldn’t stop myself from pondering the fragility of human existence. Especially for those people who climb to the peak of fame and then fall into the deep abyss. Parveen Babi’s life is a  testament to the emotional toll of stardom and the dangers of living in a world that often celebrates its fame and loses itself when it leaves the limelight.

Parveen Babi remains a mysterious and tragic figure, a woman whose beauty once graced the silver screen, but in her later years, she was shrouded in loneliness and sadness. Her story serves as a lesson that behind the glitz and glamor of showbiz, there ultimately resides a fragile and fallible human being, who yearns for belonging amid the unforgiving glare of the spotlight.

Parveen Babi’s tragic life came to an untimely end on 20 January 2005, when she was found dead in her Mumbai apartment. According to reports, when the door was not opened for three days and newspapers, milk packets and postal items were lying outside her door, the neighbors informed the police on the basis of suspicion and when the police opened the door, she was found lying dead inside. Due to diabetes, gangrene had spread in his feet and a wheelchair was kept near her bed. The post-mortem report revealed that there was no food in her stomach for three days, only the remains of the medicines that she had taken was there.

Her passing away was a reminder of the challenges faced by individuals struggling with mental health issues in the entertainment industry. This prompted discussion about the need for better support systems and awareness regarding mental well-being.