It's more than fifty years since watching films of every kind has been a way of life and a way of making a decent enough living for me - Ali Peter John
But, it has also been very gruelling and grim at several times, especially when I have had to cross examine myself about the calibre of an actor.
Till Amitabh Bachchan strode on the scene like a giant, it was only Dilip Kumar who inspired me to question myself about how he did what he did in every scene he performed in every film whether it was a tragedy, a family story (also called socials ) all a dark tragedy.
But with the coming of Amitabh, the focus of an entire generation shifted to the tall man with sensitive eyes, a baritone voice and e whose limbs spoke as intensely as his face and his eyes and even the sweat on his face and the drops or the flowing of tears in his eyes.
It was not for nothing that he was given the title of the star of the millennium and the actor who started his own school of acting which many other younger actors have desperately tried to follow and gave frustratingly failed.
If I had age on my side and the energy, I would have liked to write not one but several theses about his performances, but right now as I am sitting in a crowded and noisy cafe where little girls make tea that drives away the little inspiration that I work hard to find, my friend Nitin Anand brings to my notice one of the most blustering and absolutely powerful performance of Amitabh in a film called "Chehre", directed by my friend Rumy Jaffry who once used to write and direct films for David Dhawan and Govinda especially. .....
As I prepared to have my first sip of insipid tea, I heard the famous voice of the man I have been calling Mr Bachchan sheerly out of respect for him as a performer, the like of which Indian film history have rarely seen before.
And what follows is an 13 minute monologue with Amitabh lashing out at the legal system and the way which it is geared to handle legal issues and at best can deliver judgements, but not justice in the true sense.
Amitabh has played a fiesty lawyer ( prosecutor) in several films in the past, but what he does in "Chehre" rips off all the colour of masks that the judicial system has been wearing on its fragile and fake faces in the name of justice and law.
The language he uses in Hindi and English, the pauses he takes to let a point seep in and the times when he raises his famous voice to make a pertinent point can shake off even a stone - hearted human being who has lost all his feelings in his previous birth.
And what does one say about a seventy eight year old actor who has done hundreds of films who has according to makers of the film written the entire monologue himself and breeded life into every word, every emotion,every value, every principal, every pause, every smirk, every fantastic smile and every meaningful look.
I have heard, I have seen, I have experienced some of the greatest actors of the world weaving such extraordinary magic with words which find a very different kind of life with a born great and gifted actor, but Amitabh has more often and not turned out to be a revelation and a one - man revolution and he has never ( according to me who have been observing him for half a century ) been has effective, emphatic and effusive as he is when he exposes the many faces ( "Chehre") of human beings, individuals, countries and the international community.
How many times in this one life will you give me the opportunity and the privilege to carry you on my frail shoulders and carry you to the dizzy heights of success you deserve to reach, Mr Bachchan ?