Say a big hello to Indian television dramas—where sequences defy logic and lead characters change their looks quicker than dancers during Filmfare; where the same sh*t is recycled and presented on every channel with a different cast; and where rationality ceases to exist. If you’ve been living under a rock and don’t already know the crazy ass drama that is being telecasted these days, we bring you a list of the 15 most horrendous show plot lines to have ever been created.

P.S. There are more that can be added, but we couldn’t make the list endless, could we?

1.  Pehredar Piya Ki

Romance between 9-year-old boy and a 19-year old girl. Need we say more? Actually, maybe we do. What the actual f*ck?! Maybe you’ve heard the joke on the internet about Hollywood celebs dating men 20 years younger to them. This show has taken that quite literally. And weren’t we supposed to progress. What’s with the child marriage boss? Gadi reverse mein chali gayi is show ki.

2. Ghulam

Set in the fictional village of Berahampur (beraham is Hindi for heartless), where landlords keep slaves (actual slaves with dog collars and all) and women are considered as commodities, the show is 100 per cent representative of the audience’s mindset. After all, we’re prisoners to the makers’ thought process. Mind you, this show has pretty great TRPs. If only we could request the aunties to stop watching! Unki vajah se humara naam kharab ho raha hai. 

3. Naagin

The first thing that comes to mind when you see a glimpse of this bizarre, stone-age concept is the fact that we’re living in the 21st century and our VFX haven’t improved one bit. How the hell are those guys making stuff like Game of Thrones and we’re still stuck with Naagin? This show had the highest TRPs when it was being aired, forcing the makers to produce a second season and thereby making the more sensible lot cringe.

4. Vishkanya

Read the name. Laugh. Repeat! After the concepts of naagins, nevlas, tigers, daayans, werewolves, chudails and rakshasas, how could poison-spewing lasses stay far behind? If you’re not familiar with Indian history and mythology, vishkanyas were specially trained girls who were fed poisonous plants and berries in small quantities to make them resistant to the effect of the poison and increase the toxicity in their blood so they could be used as weapons against the enemy. Yes, it was a real thing. But making a modern day show about it, with a love story as the background and freakish blue body makeup for the lead, it just didn’t make any sense.

5. Kavach

Another failed attempt at creating a worthwhile horror show for Indian television. Over the top acting, bad special effects (still thinking of GOT), convoluted storyline, and the cliched Indian concept of the woman having to save her husband from all evil is basically what this show is about. Mona Singh was obviously not being offered any other roles when she took this up.

6. Brahmarakshas

This show reminds me of Haatim Tai—an extremely weird Bollywood film released in 1990 starring Jeetendra. That’s both sad and hilarious. I would like to quote Michael Jackson here, “What have we done to the world; Look what we’ve done.” That pretty much sums it up.

7. Devanshi

The show started with a social message about people’s blinding faith in Godmen and Godwomen and how religion decides everything in the country, but somewhere along the line, it just went haywire. It talks about a young girl called Devanshi, whose childhood has been destroyed by the people’s religious beliefs, and how a powerful woman’s belief system puts the child’s life in jeopardy. The transition from being a good concept to being a typical Indian melodrama was pretty quick.

8. Begusarai

If there’s one show that proves Indian television has become more regressive, this is it. One woman married to five men in the name of revenge—where have we heard that before? Then there’s the cliched regional village setting and mixed up accents in the name of giving it a local flavour. Also, the sets never stop being lavish. What’s up with that?

9. Shakti—Astitva Ke Ehsaas Ki

Another show that started with a strong concept but gave way to people’s absurd demands just for the TRPs. What started as a strong support for the transgender community turned into a teary, soapy drama about two lovers who just aren’t able to come together. Now, why do I feel like that is the only thing I’ve seen on Indian television in the past decade? The loopholes and flaws in the show’s plot actually make it more difficult for the transgender community to break stereotypes.

10. Yeh Kahan Aa Gaye hum

Ye kya ho raha hai bhaiya, ye kya ho raha hai? After Stephanie Meyer made vampires and humans fall in love, Indian television decided to take one step further and show the love story between a human and a tiger! And not just any tiger, a shapeshifting, mutant one who will transform into a human too (Karan Kundra played this part btw). When I saw this, it is safe to say, I wanted to scratch my eyes out.

11. Thapki Pyaar ki

Indian daily soap bahus are the saddest, most miserable creatures on the planet and this show is just another stellar example of that. A girl with a stammer, falling in love with her boss, eventually having to marry his step brother because of her evil mother-in-law, then having her husband loose his memory and then finally being chased by a Gorilla who has fallen in love with her. All of this amidst an unending trail of tears, moral science lectures and a weird, sacrificial portrayal of inner strength, is what Thapki Pyaar Ki is all about. Also, why the hell is everyone suddenly into animal-human romances? Why!?

12. Adhuri Kahaani Hamari

If you want to see all the mythology, horror, fantasy, and melodrama in one place, this is the show for you. You will have Daayans, Icchadhari Naagins, Black Magic, and Reincarnation, mixed and served in a pot for you to savour. Makers understanding of what the audience wants is clearly NOT on point.

13. Sasural Simar Ka

This is the show where the lead reincarnates as a housefly and fights Satan’s desi equivalent, Pataali Devi . I rest my case.

14. Sath Nibhana Sathiya

If you see this gif above, you will know that EVERYTHING about this show is absurd. An uneducated girl made to marry a rich businessman (who does it for his momma) and then forced to succumb to his whims and of course anger. In the seven years that it has been on air, this show has taken more leaps than a hare takes during its 15 minute run. Also, this is the show that cemented the concept that Indian women are never without makeup and jewellery.

If you know the term “Gopi Vau”, you’re a true TV fanatic.

15. Pyaar Ki Yeh Ek Khaani

This is the show that made me regret the existence of Star One. It’s probably also the reason that channel was taken off air. Conceptualised and produced by Ekta Kapoor (what else were you expecting), the show is a weird mashup of Vampire Diaries and Twilight, but with lavish sets and desi dance sequences and the full swag. Just imagine, or if you don’t want to, the show still airs on Star Utsav.

For as long as Indian TV keeps producing shit like this, we will keep writing articles like this. Kya karein, humari bhi rozi roti ka sawal hai.