WHO COULD HAVE EXPECTED A WAR OVER A SUICIDE ?

Ali Peter John

Shocks ,sensational stories and suicides are no strangers to me .I have been facing them in my own life and even in a place like this good, bad, sad and mad world of films where I have spent my entire life.

Suicide has found a place in my life ever since I was a little boy, when I saw my neighbour Babu committing suicide by hanging from a tree .It happened again when my friend Victoria who was in the ninth standard and was scared of failing in her final exams consumed a bottle of poison and when she realized she was dying, she called for help to save her, but it was too late. She was carried to the graveyard like a bride dressed in a white satin gown and with flowers in her hair and with a band playing.

My friend, Godfrey had fallen in love with Hilda and married her and when he came to know that Hilda had an affair even after she had married him, he committed suicide and the priest in the church refused to bury him in the church graveyard because he had committed suicide and he was buried in a place where only those who had committed suicide were buried. I had got drunk during his funeral and picked up a major fight with the priest and had even abused him in public, an incident which made me both popular and notorious. My younger brother had problems on both the financial and emotional fronts and attempted suicide twice and succeeded the third time and he too was being threatened with the prospects of being buried outside the church and I had to fight again.

And what can I say about me ? My brother's death had left me alone and I took to drinking till I became an alcoholic and an addict. I had reached a stage where life meant nothing to me and I wanted to end it all .

Every morning I looked at options to kill myself. Sometimes I looked at a huge knife in the kitchen and at other times I looked at the ceiling fan which was quite high and I finally gave up both the options and decided to drink myself to death. I left my house every morning saying to myself in Hindi, "peeoonga toh marunga, nahi peeoonga toh bhi marunga,toh chalo peekar hi marte hai "and I drank all day and all night.

I fell in all kinds of places, I broke my head,I was knocked out vehicles, I didn't know when I had a major fracture in my left foot, I had given myself up for dead so many times, my friends had even made preparations for my funeral and there were friends in the media who had prepared my obituary and even given their stories very kind headings like "Good man gone".....

But, I have survived and if I survive another ten days I will be seventy, thank God, an age I never could imagined I would reach when I was forty .

Why am I so full of suicide stories ? Why am I digging up old graves ? Gade huwaye murdo ko kyun jagaa rahe ho, mere dost ? I can hear people asking me these questions where ever I go. But,what do I do under these cruel circumstances ?

I ventured out of my house after more than three months only to see all my favourite places fallen asleep. There is a pall of gloom all over and the world of films is no exception. There has been no activity or work of any kind in the industry. All studios,all theatres, all multiplexes, all offices and everything to do with filmmaking has been out of action since COVID 19 struck in April or even earlier. All stars, superstars and legends are locked in their homes for the first time. Technicians, junior artists and workers have been living a hand to mouth existence and some are even dying of starvation.To add to this gloomy atmosphere,the industry has seen the deaths of well -known actors and a director during the last two months....

And the big hard knock has come with the suicide of Sushant Singh Rajput. There have been stories of suicides in the past too, but what has happened and is happening after the suicide of the young actor is of great concern. Just imagine, a whole lot of people going hammer and tongs against well known names like Karan Johar, Salman Khan,Sanjay Leela Bhansali, Sajid Nadiadwala, YRK,Ekta Kapoor, Bhushan Kumar and others.The case has not even started taking any direction, but there is one FIR made against all the names mentioned above and to make matters worse the FIR has been lodged in a place like Muzaffarpur in Bihar. There is talk about some more FIRs being lodged. There are angry agitations all over.

Two relatives of Sushant have already died of shock. Sushant's father, Mr.K.K.Singh is in a state of shock and is of the firm belief that Sushant was "killed ". The social media is going over the top with some of them baying for the blood of the well known names who they in their knowledge feel were responsible for pressuring Sushant and their is a section of the social media taking a netural stand. But the anger among the common man is difficult to understand or explain. Petitions are being signed and circulated asking people to ban and boycott "Koffee With Karan" and the forthcoming films and shows of Salman.

All other associations are still thinking of what action they should take in the circumstances. There are some big mames and association which feel that silence is the only way out.

Where will all this end ? Will there be a peaceful solution or will the war lead to a wilder war ?